Saturday, March 12, 2016

French Cultural Tips

The French do have certain cultural differences from Anglophones.  Knowing some of these differences can prevent misunderstandings and make your tour of France much more enjoyable. 
Good manners are an extremely important part of French culture and are rooted in long tradition. Being accustomed to certain social conventions, they do not realize that violations of these social codes by foreigners are not a sign of rudeness or poor manners, but just a cultural difference.  Likewise, your idea of politeness and manners may leave you feeling insulted by people who don’t realize that your culture’s social expectations are different.


Smiling
The French do not emphasize the smile like some other cultures do.  It is not customary in France to smile at strangers or new acquaintances. Just as it is said that New Yorkers have an unconscious, self-protecting habit of never looking strangers in the eye, in France one doesn’t just smile at tourists or people one doesn’t know well enough to trust. In fact, a person with a big huge smile for no specific reason seems either seductive or grossly absurd.

Personal Space
Some foreigners complain that it feels like the French are pushing in lines; however, this is only because they require a much smaller “bubble” of personal space around them than some other nationalities do.  You may also notice that the French drive and park very close to other vehicles.  So this closeness is not something to perceive as personal intimidation, but just a cultural difference in the accepted distance people feel they need from others. Casual conversation from strangers is the equivalent of pushing in line to Anglophones.  Les français maintain “personal space” through silence, so the attempt of a stranger to converse can often be perceived as a rude violation of space.  Remaining silent in a cramped or shared area between strangers is a sign of a desire to respect the space of others and to protect one’s own personal “space.” 

Speech
If you will notice, conversations in restaurants, on the streets, and elsewhere in France are barely audible to outsiders.  Speaking loudly enough for others to clearly overhear is considered vulgar and obnoxious, and a sign of extremely bad manners.  It is shocking to hear someone blurt out:  “Can you tell me…” or “I’m looking for…” or even “Excuse me, where is…” One reason is because many French people may not understand a word of English and feel threatened by their inability to understand.  But the primary reason is that it is socially unacceptable to approach a stranger in that way, even if you are speaking French, without following a certain social code of polite words.  These words are definitely NOT“S’il vous plait…” (Please…), because what typically follows that phrase is a request for money. 

The standard introductory words are: “Excusez-moi de vous déranger monsieur/madame/mademoiselle, mais j’ai un problème.” I translates to “Excuse me for disturbing you, monsieur/madame/mademoiselle, but I have a problem.” This respectfully leaves the choice up to the other person to ask how they can help you.  So, on your tour of France, when asking for directions, help, advice, information, or anything which requires interrupting the time and space of another person, you might want to consider first using that phrase. Upon hearing it, the typical français will almost always be interested to find out what your problem is and be happy to help you solve it, even if they have to ask several other people for you. But once they have undertaken to help you, even if you are in a hurry and they seem to be taking too long, it is a serious insult to brush off their help.

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